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Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
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THE Classic RPG Podcast, w/Jim Banks, John Brandon, Matthew Van Zandt & Vanessa

May 21, 2018

Grandia is almost over, and it may be breaking the Square Roots crew to their very cores. Except for Jim. Jim for some reason is finishing this game in record time. This week on Square Roots: Vanessa gets Royal Fever, Jim turns into a robot, Feena becomes a corporal, Justin won't solve the Trolley Problem, we debate the worst voice actor of the game, there's much plant carnage as Baal makes it go total Jenova, and so much more!

02:25 - Level Up
20:35 - The Quest Log
01:07:20 - Mullen It Over
01:08:40 - Squarely Against

This Week: We reach Zil Padon after the attack by Gaia!
Next Week: WE FINISH GRANDIA!

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 14, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

NEXT GAME ANNOUNCED!

This l'il chunker has all your favorite Grandia bits: rainbow roads! Falling out of a plane! Jenova-ing monsters! Plant arms! Convenient manta rays! Secret Icarians! There's a lot of plot and a lot of action, even if poor ol' Vanessa is sick.

Level Up: 04:00
Quest Log: 12:50
Squarely Against: (I think we forgot it this time)

This week: We play until we reach Alent.
Next Week: We return to Zil Padon after the Lyonlot and the Luzet Mountain Camp scene.

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

 Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 7, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast


Let's not forget that Grandia was made in the halcyon days of 1996 in Japan, so the name of the dog people did not carry the same kind of political weight as it does now. But that's just the start of the revelations we have today. For instance: the true nature of Darlin! Where Lainians keep their wisdom! How snowballs work! Ghosts! And so many more!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 30, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

We meet Rapp, and his parents who were both turned to stone and rubbed to death. He has one of the worst voice actors in gaming. It is legendary. This week we've got: Vanessa's Rapp Rap, Milda's labia, Leen's Secret, a whole Jenova scenario, God of War, Vanessa's Sims, edible housing, and SO MUCH MORE.

This week: We complete the Tower of Doom and find out Leen's secret!
Next week: We play until we talk to the Three Wise Men of Laine.

Level Up: 04:35
Quest Log: 15:20
Squarely Against: 01:04:25

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 23, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

We push forward with even more Grandia, finishing Disc One. But that means it's a jam packed episode full of tricky mermaids, confusing elevator puzzles, catapults, crying children, not knowing how to run, awkward dates, and villagers who lean on plausible deniability.

This week: We play until the end of Disc One.
Next week: We complete the Tower of Doom and find out Leen's secret!

Level Up: 05:10
Quest Log: 16:05
Squarely Against: 01:50

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 16, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Sue falls to what appears to be her death, is nearly eaten, Justin gets vanquished by a way, way better swordsman, and Feena kind of stays out of trouble in this song-packed episode of Square Roots. From a very, very large wall to a fish-shaped house and one of the most tedious, longest, and annoying maps ever to a rain-soaked tower where Justin must choose between life and death, Grandia is nothing if not dramatic. But hey! We meet Gadwin, a big strong buddy, and Guido, who claims to be Mo'Gay than Johnny. Somehow. All this and much much more!

Level Up 14:00
Quest Log 22:15
Squarely Against 01:11:15

This week: We finish the Typhoon Tower!
Next week: We finish disc one!

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.


Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 
Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 9, 2018

Hey! We've got a Patreon now! Our full announcement will be in the next episode, but check it out: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Okay. Things get a little off the rails this episode as we try to slam through an overlarge chunker. First of all, Vanessa's drunk. So there's that. Then there's The Crest Frog, heat rash, the Witches of Brigmore, Dom and sub Orcs, Canadian April Fool's rituals, locker peeping, REM singing for two whole different reasons, Matthew using the worst phrase of all time (it ends with "committee"), so much nut munching, wiping out a squadron of Sergeants, and rehashing the old "was Feena a tour guide?" argument. So. All in all? A great episode.

Level Up 06:30
Quest Log 22:55
Squarely Against 01:24:00

This week: We play until you hit the End of the World!
Next week: We play until you exit the Typhoon Tower.

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 


Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 2, 2018

Are you ready for Justin to not shut up about being an adventurer? That's right, we've got more Grandia! We board the Steamer off to New Parm and then get in all sorts of wedding-and-ghost-related adventures! This week we learn about so many new things including: Psyduck based body horror, a full explanation of Cleveland Steamers, deck swabbing, the Adventurer Society's toxic workplace culture, fan wikis as unpaid labour, boat piloting, underwear in JRPGs and so much more!

Level Up 03:30
Quest Log 18:45
Bullsh*t Minigame Corner: 01:34:50
Squarely Against 01:38:10

This week: We play until you reach the Dom Ruins!
Next week: We play until you hit the End of the World!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 26, 2018

We start Grandia! And it's pretty awesome! That doesn't mean we don't have questions and conundrums about Game Arts's classic PSOne JRPG. These children are in constant danger as we decry Justin's hat, get creeped out by Puff-Puff's nose, get skeeved out by old men hitting on an eight year old, watch children get hit in the face with a serving tray, destroy priceless statues, destabilize an Orc monarchy, iffy voice acting, judgmental makeup comments, debate the merits of Parmesan cheese and so much more!

Level Up 04:30

Quest Log 10:10

Squarely Against 01:28:45

 

This week: We play until you board the Steamer in Grandia!
Next week: We play until you reach the Dom Ruins!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 


Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 19, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 5

Hail to the Chief! We finish Phantasy Star IV! And meet Seth, the sexiest PC ever to grace a JRPG party. We plot our ways to escape Planet X, debate whether or not the game gets Disc 3 crazy, give Ken Bone tips on having alternate accounts, we debate whether or not Le Roof is both on fire or an anthropomorphic galaxy, Jim gets obsessed over The Profound Darkness's boobs, talk about Dragonball for what seems to be an hour, and so much more!

Level Up 04:15
Quest Log 16:50
Squarely Against 01:15:50

This week: WE FINISH PHANTASY STAR IV!
Next week: We play until you board the Steamer in Grandia!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 12, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 4

NEXT GAME ANNOUNCED! We're not saying John slept through the recording of this episode, but he may have slept through the recording of this episode. Topics covered this week include: Le Freak, Laschiec; Laschiec playing a classic game of keep-away with the Eclipse Torch; rating Chaz versus previous terrible RPG protagonists; how Vanessa isn’t prepared for Garuberk Tower’s Flesh Cave; Matthew calls the Garuberk Tower “Gratuitous” Tower; Dark Farce; John’s Interrupted Wrestling Dreams and SO MUCH MORE. You won't even believe it.

Level Up 02:00
Quest Log 08:50
Squarely Against 56:34

This week: We meet the travelling archaeologist Seth. 
Next week: WE FINISH PHANTASY STAR IV!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 5, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 3

Matthew connects to USB via a tin can and Jim is still mysteriously unavailable! But that won't stop us here at Square Roots. We discover Vanessa's robo-racism, we learn why you shouldn't use magic on a space ship as per the Liam Niesson movie Non-Stop, meet Raja and his weird dad jokes, have an old southern man diagose the issues with a space station, go on a rocket ride, get a second identical rocket, and SO MUCH MORE.

Level Up: 04:45
Quest Log: 20:15
Squarely Against: 01:28:20

This week: We meet Lutz and head to Jut!
Next week: We meet the travelling archaeologist Seth. 

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 26, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 2

Sega's manga-inspired sci-fi epic takes a few, uh, predictable twists and turns as we explore a downed Phantasy Star III colony ship, explore Zio's Fort, and head into a tourist trap town. Topics covered this week include: we lose our Edible Arrangements sponsorship; Matthew ear-shames Rika; Vanessa discovers the secret of instant teleportation; our protagonist dilemma is sorted out;  we balance out Labia’s Tower jokes with sandworm foreskin jokes; the RPG need for brothels; Chaz brainstorms badly; we question the medical skills of Hahn and Sara; Vanessa has outdoor cat adventures; AND SO MUCH MORE!

Level Up: 05:15
Quest Log: 17:15
Squarely Against: 01:18:14
Matthew's Political Theories: 01:25:53

This week: We secure the Psycho Wand and head to Nurvus.
Next week: We meet Lutz and head to the penguin-filled town of Jut!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 19, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 1

We begin the epic space journey with Alys and Chaz in the town of learning, but something doesn't seem right. Why is the headmaster so evasive? What's up with those monsters in the basement? Is Jim the Hahn of the podcast? Why did we start with Phantasy Star IV? Does the game explain anything about any of its systems? Why is Vanessa so interested in Zio? How many fake languages is Matt going to have to learn? Does John want to make kissing with Professor Bearsley?

We answer all these questions and more in this deep dive into one of Sega's finest RPGs.

Level Up: 02:45
John Explains Phantasys Star I Through III: 09:45
Quest Log: 13:55
Jim's Rate-A-Babe: 01:07:29
Squarely Against: 01:10:25

This week: We venture deep into Birth Valley, and Rika emerges from its depths.
Next week: We secure the Psycho Wand and head to Nurvus.

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 17, 2018

Julian Titus from Nerds Without Pants joins Jim and John as they decide if the Miracle of Sound Commander Shepherd song deserves a Renegade or Paragon interrupt! This episode contains a careful review of the imagery used by Miracle of Sound, as well as a mailbag full of questions about Krogan genitals, Crossing Jordan, Asari babies, and Normandy crew slash fiction. Plus basic misunderstandings of microfilm!

Level Up: 03:40

Commander Shepherd Review: 13:40

Mailbag: 38:10

Please find Miracle of Sound's Commander Shepherd song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiRDJLcYua0

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 12, 2018

Mass Effect - Part 6 

Stay tuned through the end of the podcast for incredible dramatic readings of Matt’s notes! We finish off BioWare’s first venture into their epic science fantasy universe and decide whether or not we’re Squarely Against or Roundly For Shepherd and their adventures. Also? Vanessa and Matthew turn out to be twinsies; Matt is obsessed with a geth ship with a face; Vanessa’s Rate-A-Hunk goes macro; and SO MUCH MORE!

Level Up: 02:56

The Codex: 16:23

Vanessa’s Rate-A-Hunk: 57:10

Squarely Against: 01:03:03

Dramatic Readings of Matt’s Notes: 01:14:36

This Week:We finish Mass Effect 1!
Next Week: We start Phantasy Star IV and play through until leaving the BioPlant with Rika!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 5, 2018

Mass Effect 1 - Part 5

Next game is announced!

WARNING: JOHN MAKES THE VERY WORST JOKE EVER IN THIS EPISODE. Okay, now that we’re past that, Shepherd and their crew head to Ilos to catch up with Saren! Also covered in this episode: meeting Lord Darius; Vanessa’s Rate-A-Hunk; steamy Mass Effect love scenes; punching Ambassador Udina; the sexiest exposition-spouting VI; the terrible Pinnacle Station DLC and SO MUCH MORE.

This Week:We get in trouble for the nuking and then break some rules, punch some ambassadors, go to Ilos and drive our space truck through a portal.
Next Week: We finish Mass Effect 1!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jan 29, 2018

Mass Effect - Part 4

On this dangerously exciting episode of Square Roots and Mass Effect: We talk about the pros and cons of prefabricated space housing and office buildings; Matthew makes a reference to a commercial no one has seen; there is much bandying about of the term “Terminator Cthulus”; we make a difficult choice between crew members and one may get some smoking lazer holes; Matthew decides to grow up and get a 4, 0, 1 and K; Father Kyle learns the error of his ways and SO MUCH MORE.       

This Week: We head to Virmire and leave it a bit nuked.
Next Week: We get in trouble for the nuking and then break some rules, punch some ambassadors, go to Ilos and drive our space truck through a portal.

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jan 22, 2018

Mass Effect - Part 3

Things go from aggressive fungi to getting real cool as we descend on the Galt's Gulch that is the corpoplanet Noveria. Matthew delights in Matriach Brazzeria but somehow Vanessa isn’t loving it; Ashley wants to put Earth first; aliens with New York cabbie accents; super space secretaries; further rating of hunks; Vanessa and Matthew tell teacher and SO MUCH MORE. You won't believe all the space adventures in store! 

This Week: We plunge into the icy depths of Noveria! 
Next Week: We head into Virmire. Someone on the Normandy's crew... won't make it back alive. 

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jan 15, 2018

Mass Effect - Part 2

We finally blast off the Citadel and get to explore the Milky Way with our favorite crew of misfits, rebels and space racists. On this episode: Matthew tries desperately to figure out who Tonya Harding is, we debate the physical properties and applications of OmniGel, Freighter Crane’s tossed salad and spiked grenades, Liara’s psychic head rubbies, birthing Asaris, and so much more!

This Week: We rescue Liara T'Soni and find the secret of Feros!
Next Week: We plunge into the icy depths of Noveria! 

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jan 8, 2018

Mass Effect 1 - Part One

Forgive sick Johnny’s heavy breathing this ep, his nose was heckka plugged.

It's Janu-Warey! Poor, poor hick Jenkins. BimJanks, Eden, Evil and Kimothy Shepherd unite to fight the evil, evil Nihilus after he kills… wait. Wait. Saren is the bad guy? But Nihilus is the bad guy name!

What’s the deal with the Epiphany Witch? Why is Jim’s neighbour on a campaign of misinformation? Is Kittizard or Ferians a better fantasy name for the Turians? Do the Turians even have genitals? Is Ashley a big ol’ Space Racist? Has Jim played Flandia? Do Asari look like whatever you find attractive?

This Week: We find the beacon on Eden Prime and prove Saren's guilt on the Citadel.
Next Week: We rescue Liara T'Soni and find the secret of Feros!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jan 1, 2018

Nadia Oxford from USGamer and Axe of the Blood God joins us to dissect the strange relationships between this visual novel / text adventure and Chrono Trigger, as well as its role as a map for Chrono Cross. Things to enjoy this week: Jim getting angry at Radical Dreamers and Chrono Cross yet again, self-insert Chrono fan fiction, Radical Dreamers as a management parable, fashion montages, fushigi, and hyper gory text descriptions.

This week: We play through the first ending of Radical Dreamers!
Next week: We finish Eden Prime and the Citadel to take command of the SR Normandy in Mass Effect!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Dec 25, 2017

The Bard's Tale 2004 - Part Four

Things draw to a close and we try to end on a positive note on what we liked about this strange game. We track through the three endings, discuss the stated theme of the game, and give long, long sighs as we hit one of the most weirdest endgame of any RPG we've seen.

This Week: We play Chapters 11 through 14 of The Bard's Tale.
Next Week: We radically dream!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Dec 18, 2017

The Bard's Tale 2004 - Part Three

Hi! I'm Hal Sparks. Do you remember the 2000s? What a wild and crazy, yet somehow more innocent age. Snooki? Tatu? Eminem hair? We dive into a time of Urbz: Sims in the City and gay panic in this wall-to-wall-awesome episode of Square Roots.

Questions asked in this episode: why does Jim hate Chris Pratt? Does Jeff Goldblum have an orgy ship? Will Vanessa stop singing about the Nuckelvee? Is Scottish a language or dialect? What exactly is a flesh family?

Plus: The Vanessa and John Show, featuring their special guest, Matthew!

This Week: We play through Chapters 7 through 10 of the 2004 Bard's Tale.
Next Week: We play Chapters 11 through 14 of The Bard's Tale.

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) comdestroydestroyer 

Dec 11, 2017

The Bard's Tale 2004 - Part Two

The tables are turned as Jim, John and Vanessa lighten up a little on The Bard's Tale while Matthew goes ballistic. John finds solace in an undead horse, Vanessa loves the Crone, Jim doesn't get the performance issues, and Matthew realizes the game may be tuned to encourage in-app purchases on iOS.

Why would Matthew start singing the Bodyguard song? What's a Kunal Trow? What's the difference between a Fnarf and a Hrafn? Will The Bard even sexually harass a Valkyrie? What the heck is a Gesa anyhow? Why is the game pulling a Halo 1 library with constantly spawning enemies? Why are Jim's free cheats better than Matthew's paid buffs?

The answers to these and more on a blockbuster, action-packed Square Roots!

This Week: We play through Chapters 4 through 6 of the 2004 Bard's Tale.
Next Week: We play Chapters 7 through 10 of The Bard's Tale.

Twitter: @squarerootspod
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Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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