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Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
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Now displaying: August, 2016

THE Classic RPG Podcast, w/Jim Banks, John Brandon, Matthew Van Zandt & Vanessa

Aug 28, 2016

We head out to the land of jerk wolves and cute Walrus people, teenage John groans at meeting Rudolph the Red Nosed Raendeer, crash a real-estate resort scheme, that one episode where GI Joe was a bunch of jerks to Cobra, the Mana team as a anarchist-communist instrument of change, John's girl problem, getting assaulted by three Denvers the Sex Vore Dinosaurs, many crickets, 16-bit ho-ho-ho's, is the Secret of Mana the origin of Mrs. Claus? What empowered older woman could possibly be his mate? We also head back to Kakkara, go through the most frustrating palace so far, get chucked around by a beefazoid minotaur, and then have to move on... but to where?

Next week: We play until the end of the Emperor's Palace!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Theme music by: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand

Aug 26, 2016

This week we tackle a much-maligned JRPG from 1990: Super Hydlide. Is it as terrible as its reputation suggests? Johnny and Jim are joined by Caleb to see just how many times villagers can force us to starve to death, find out that our wallet is just too damn heavy, get stuck behind some friendly slimes at the self-checkout, starve to death some more, be too stupid to read the engravings on a tombstone, and ride on some of the most jarring difficulty curves in a game ever. Is T&E / Seismic's game a lost masterpiece? A bleeping piece of bleep? Is the music as rad as John remembers? Find out as we take this Genesis cart through the wringer and see if it can withstand the white-hot intensity of our judgment.

But really though.

That music is rad.

If you'd like to play along at home, and be forewarned, this game isn't intuitive, we play from the start through until the end of the Tower of Habel.

Our incredible Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Our Twitter: @squarerootspod
Our Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Aug 23, 2016

Hello again! This is a fun little one off bloopers/cutting room floor episode of material i cut out of episode 21. It's mostly suicide squad talk and gross jokes. Suicide Squad spoilers abound!!! 

Let us know if you'd like to see more of these going forward, there is always plenty of stuff that gets cut from the final mix! 

Aug 21, 2016

This week on Square Roots we can't agree on Shovel Knight, Suicide Squad, Hamilton, or pretty much anything. We discuss getting seeded, grinding Secret of Mana the iOS / SNES Gontma translation error, a new idea of the true Secret of Mana, the comfort of straw beds, a few more zorbs, nonsensical rating systems, Girl versus the Patriarchy, and far, far, far too many cat puns.

We play from the Sprite Village in the Upper Lands through the Fungi villlage of Matango until we land in the village of Kakkara. Next week: The Ice Country through until the beefy minotaur at the end of the Fire Temple!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Theme Music By: https://www.youtube.com/user/TetriminoVGBand

Sunnie's awesome Neko portrait: http://super-mario-rpg.tumblr.com/

Aug 19, 2016

It's that time again (for the first time)! Our August mailbag episode is here with special guest Julian Titus of the Nerds Without Pants podcast! 

Listen to Matt, Jim, Vanessa and Julian answer all your questions! Or try to answer them at least! 

Find Julian on twitter @julian_titus and the Nerds Without Pants podcast @NWPCast, episodes on iTunes and everywhere else! 

Thanks for listening! Kisses! Bieeeeeeeeee!

Intro/Outro theme: 

Holder & Ephixa - Victory Fanfare (Final Fantasy VII Remix)
http://soundcloud.com/Ephixa
http://soundcloud.com/MajorLeagueWobs
https://youtu.be/ywlZBMWvYNU


Aug 14, 2016

We learn the true secret of the manaboys in today's all new episode of Square Roots! We cannon travel to the northern lands where the seasons constantly change and fight all manner of critters. The Moogle village revealed, Spirte's memory loss scam, Luca's evil scheme, Watt's the roadie, Jema the Dude and Spring Beak! We also hear a terrible joke from John, Jim HATES the word Manaboy and we get a little political at the top but not really! All of that and more on today's SQUARE ROOTS!

Next time: we'll be playing through the remainder of the Upper Lands, through Matango, rescuing a dragon, and getting kidnapped in Kakkara! 

Opening and Closing Music by: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Qc5eUj_rkUECdxPAZcFTg

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

BIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Aug 12, 2016

Stan from the They See Me Rolling returns to guide Matthew, Jim, and Vanessa through the exciting conclusion of the two-part Final Fantasy themed Fate game!  Guided by Celes, the mash-em-up team of Zidane, Cid, and Lulu set out to track down their vanished friend, Sephiroth.  Faced with the most horrifying gathering on Midgar, will our heroes be able to reach Sephiroth before it’s too late?  Will they discover who is behind his devious abduction?  Will they learn the difference between a hatchet and a cleaver?  Will Zidane finally push Lulu too far?  Will Jim be too drunk to continue?  Find out these answers and more on Part 2 of Final Fantasy Fates!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

 

Aug 7, 2016

We put Horny Grandma and Macho Man Jimmy Savage to bed, possibly together and then push on through Luka's special cave surprise! We get totally destroyed by Denver the Last Dinosaur, who isn't your friend and is into vore, Jimmy experiences N-U-I, Boy's lack of magic gifts, Sprite's villainity, Gaia's Navel's music versus hangovers, Gnome's use of the third person, Girl's slight Dyluck obsession, Floating Tomato Zombie Men, Thanatos's evil skull head, and finally John's Hot Facts!

Next time: we'll beat up a killer robot, mash some Sonics, and then destroy the Spring Beak in the Sprite Village!

Opening and Closing Music by: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9Qc5eUj_rkUECdxPAZcFTg

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYY

Aug 4, 2016

Stan from They See Me Rolling joins Matthew, Jim and Vanessa in this special two-part role playing spectacular! In this roleplaying mash-em-up they play the pen and paper RPG Fate as their favorite Final Fantasy characters: Matthew as Zidane from Final Fantasy 9, Jim as Cid Highwind from Final Fantasy 7, and Vanessa tackles Lulu from Final Fantasy 10! This disparate gang is brought together by the mysterious Celes to kill Kefka so they can return to their home worlds. Important notes from the quest log include: the origin of the Bio attack, Celes's weird chocobo, their new pal Bro Sephiroth, and all the action, adventure and mystery you'd expect from a very special Final Fantasy Adventure! (Note: not actually Final Fantasy Adventure, the GB title.)

Stay tuned next week for Part 2!

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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