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Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
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Now displaying: November, 2025

THE Classic RPG Podcast, w/Jim Banks, John Brandon, Matthew Van Zandt & Vanessa

Nov 24, 2025

Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five
Square Roots - Thanksgiving Special

Quest Log: 0:02:00
Level Up: 1:06:00

We're not doing a real episode this week, we're doing a Thanksgiving Funebration! And going through the hottest birds of 2025, or at least from games we played in 2025. Probably. Johnny did a really great job running this game and there were no errors. Please comment exactly that previous statement at Vanessa, Jim and Matthew.


This Week: Have a great American Thanksgiving!
Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!


Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Nov 17, 2025

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet
Square Roots - Episode 489

Quest Log: 0:31:00
Level Up: 1:43:54

Even with a lack of cheevos we still dive into Nintendo's Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! We're all playing on Switch, but no matter if you're on that or Gamecube you can certainly play along. Just be prepared for Horny Nintendo.

Also:
* A Game For Babies With Good Attention Spans
* We Complain About One Drive Like A Couple of Boomers
* Why Are We Talking Like This
* Bowser Is A Job Creator
* Is Matt Goombing Right Now
* Hooktail's Fetish Stuff


This Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door!
Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!


Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Nov 10, 2025

South of Midnight Part 3: ROUX WAS AHMED BEST?!
Square Roots - Episode 488

Quest Log: 0:16:57
Level Up: 1:12:28

Somehow, throughout this series, Jim, Matt and Vanessa never mentioned that the character Roux from Compulsion Games was played by Jar-Jar Binks, everyone's favourite Star Wars character. Or his actor, anyway, Ahmed Best.

Also:
* Matt and Jim Don't Know Where the Rockstar Headquarters Are
* Jim's Famous Matt Character
* A Scardey-Cat Fish
* Back to the Future is a Christmas Movie
* Onlyh Vanessa Knows the Facts of Life Theme

This Week: Finish the game!
Next Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door


Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Nov 3, 2025

South of Midnight Part 2: Edgytainment 6-7
Square Roots - Episode 487

Quest Log: 0:23:15
Level Up: 1:34:15

We've got some exciting South of Midnight for you today! There's all sorts of terrifying stories of cryptids and social injustice! Matt loves Huggin' Molly. Jim's okay with spiders with people faces. 

Also:
* The Console Widows and rphams
* Halo on PlayStation 2
* Edgytainment 6-7
* Crash Tries To Join the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

This Week: Finish Chapter 10!
Next Week: Finish the game!


Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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