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Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
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THE Classic RPG Podcast, w/Jim Banks, John Brandon, Matthew Van Zandt & Vanessa

May 1, 2016

“Anyone who likes pickles are nice people” opens the South Gate guard as we begin Disc 2. This time it’s all Steiner and Garnet, Zidane and his gang are all sequestered into a separate quest. We have a chance encounter with Cinna and Marcus at Summit Station, The game spends an inordinate amount time explaining Fantasy Mass Transit Systems this episode, and Matthew isn’t having any of it. Marcus is out to find Super Soft (A Photo of Matthew’s mom, SICK BURRRRN) and out of a sense of loyalty Garnet and Steiner join him in finding this cure. In this week’s edition of a non-weekly segment, John’s Tips and Tricks, he explains how to make lots of money very quickly. We decide that we are now a political podcast, so get ready for some hot, hot takes. John takes about twenty minutes to steal a Flame Staff from the Black Waltz when you can easily synthesize it later, and John makes some poor life choices. We meet Mr. Ghost, an adorable ghost who loves ore, get killed by some murder plants, and find Vivi’s childhood home. John puts those Stellazios to good use and gets the game breaking Blood Sword.

 

Further discussion points: What Qu’uns sound like, the cyclical nature of aristocratic classes, Steiner actually becomes likable for about ten seconds, the Shakespearean influences, not terrible minigames, Matthew’s advocation of enslaving giant bugs, Matthew’s fan mail, John’s deep love for Shadow Hearts, and much, much more! Okay. Some more.

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