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Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots is like a book club, but for classic RPGs! Each episode John, Matthew, Jim and Vanessa play through another chunk of one of your favorite RPGs, from Final Fantasy through Chrono Trigger. Are they experts? No. Are they qualified? Absolutely not. Are they good at RPGs? Probably not. But they're the fun kind of dumb, and that's what counts.
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Now displaying: 2018

THE Classic RPG Podcast, w/Jim Banks, John Brandon, Matthew Van Zandt & Vanessa

Jul 23, 2018

We're hot and distracted in this episode, so bear with us. You may want to, you know, skip ahead to the Quest Mog. We're just saying. It's tangent town, population: this podcast! This week we discuss train suplexing, Kefka's unhappy army, Terra's crappy scenario, why Shadow is a jerk, dogs enjoying badminton, blue spartans, Nomi Malone, that weird Final Fantasy III commercial where Mog has a gruff voice, ULTROS, a kid that can destroy the most powerful karate man, Gau's tragic backstory that is orchestrated with comedy music, and so much more!

07:52 - Level Up
25:50 - The Quest Mog
01:38:50 - Bullshit Minigame Corner
01:40:00 - Squarely Against

This Week: We play until everyone meets back up in Narshe!
Next Week: We play until you reach the Imperial Continent!


Our intro music for this series is The OneUps' cover of Terra's theme!
Band Web Site - http://www.theoneups.com

Our outro is LordBifMusic's jazz cover of Shadow's theme!
LordBifMusic's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lordbifmusic
LordBifMusic's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LordBifMusic

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

 

Jul 16, 2018

There's a lot of talk about child stars in this episode of Square Roots, which is suprising given that we're talking about THE NUMBER ONE GREATEST RPG EVER, Final Fantasy VI. So is it really the Number One Greatest? Are Biggs and Wedge dating? Is Terra a witch or a sorceress? Is Edgar flirting due to societal pressure, or is he a creep? How can Sabin be a bear icon when he doesn't even have a beard? Stay tuned for the weremammothiest, lightning snailiest, daddy killingiest Square Roots yet!

03:20 - Level Up
22:00 - The Quest Mog
01:14:00 - Bullshit Minigame Corner
01:15:48 - Squarely Against

This Week: We play through until the Imperial raid on the Returners Base.
Next Week: We play until everyone meets back up in Narshe.


Our intro music for this series is The OneUps' cover of Terra's theme!
iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/the-oneups/id293487288?ign-mpt=uo%3D6
Bandcamp - http://theoneups.bandcamp.com
Merch Store - http://store.mustinenterprises.com
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/theoneupsband
Band Web Site - http://www.theoneups.com

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jul 9, 2018

Did Fable harness the power of the Xbox and our hearts? Or was it a fetid balverine of disappointment? We give our final review of Fable as we finish the game and delve into the extra Lost Chapters content. Topics include: a glyph that unlocks prime Saved by the Bell knowledge; Vanessa's molten lava attraction; Matthew's trail of carnage and SO MUCH MORE.

04:40 - Level Up
15:05 - The Quest Log
01:07:35 - Bullshit Minigame Corner
01:10:00 - Squarely Against

This Week: We finish Fable! And the Lost Chapter!
Next Week: We play until you reach Banon and the Returners Base in Final Fantasy VI.

Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis!
MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis
MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

 

Jul 2, 2018

Since Jim has given up on his Fable quest, he's resorted to coming up with the worst Dad Jokes to help us through rescuing The Scarlet Robe, infiltrating a prison, stopping a kidnapping, looting a graveyard, and other spooky RPG tasks! It may not be the penultimate episode of Fable that you expected, but it's the one you deserve.

This Week: We rescue the Scarlet Robe!
Next Week: We finish Fable! And the Lost Chapter!


Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis!
MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis
MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jun 25, 2018

We're still giving inappropriate books to schoolchildren in Fable, but that's not the least of our adventures. There's scorpion slaying! Murdertimes! John striking out bad! Trying out fun names for big evil door heads! Plus: we meet the Jack of Blades, and deep secrets are revealed!

This Week: We conquer the Arena!
Next Week: We rescue The Scarlet Robe!


Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis!
MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis
MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jun 18, 2018

HELLO PATRIOTS. GET YOUR BACKSTAGE PASSES READY, IF YOU'RE HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. WE'VE TAKEN THIS PODCAST IN A LUCRATIVE NEW DIRECTION. Did we say lucrative? We mean patriotic. And not les patriotes, we're talking real American Patriots! NO CANADIAN HISTORY LEARNING HERE. Also: Vanessa leans in to her poly preferences, we discover teaching school children in Albion can be rewarding, Matthew keeps murdering, John gets a crush on a boss, and burp fart my butt my butt.


06:00 - Level Up
19:15 - The Quest Log
01:05:55 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner
01:13:45 - Squarely Against

This Week: We defeat Twinblades and enter the Witchwood!
Next Week: We conquer the Arena!

Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis!
MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis
MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jun 11, 2018

Now we find out just what happens when you fall in love with Matthew and then he asks you to follow him somewhere. The answer? You get sacrificed at the Temple of Scorn, and then can't skip more than two songs without paying their premium: YOUR SOUL. Also in this episode: mushroom talk, fishing, Yuko's Island Express, Matthew gives excellent Troll advice, and much more!

02:25 - Level Up
10:15 - The Quest Log
01:07:00 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner
01:11:05 - Squarely Against

This Week: We escort the travellers through the Darkwood!
Next Week: We enter the mysterious world of the Witchwood!


Our intro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Our Outro music is a cover of the Fable Anniversary theme by MetalLouis!
MetalLouis YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MetalLouis
MetalLouis Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/metallouis

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Jun 4, 2018

It's FABLE TIME. Harnessing the power of the Xbox, will you be able to grow a tree? Play as a lady? Create procedural rivalries? Make an AI friend named Milo? Teach virtual pets morality? NO. Of course not. But Lionhead's ambitious RPG is not all disappointment and terrifying child faces. There's plenty of great stuff in here!

15:05 - Level Up

20:53 - The Quest Log

58:00 - Bullshit Mini Game Corner
01:00:00 - Squarely Against
01:09:20 - Peter Molyneux's Career At Silver Shamrock

This Week: We beat the Queen Wasp in Lookout Point in Fable!
Next Week: We escort the travellers through the Darkwood!


Our intro and outro music for this series is THEoneNILS’s cover of the Oakvale theme!
TheOneNils YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/THEoneNILS
TheOneNils Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/THEoneNILS

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 28, 2018

Holy crap. Gaia is now some kind of giant bug and we have to crawl inside. From the bottom up. Yeah. It's kinda gross. We criticize the parenting of Feena and Justin's children, Jim is convinced that Justin gets swole, we debate if Mullen earns his ending, we optimistically announce Bad Dragon as our dream sponsor, there are many, many plugs to our Patreon, AND SO MUCH MORE.

02:20 - Level Up
15:55 - The Quest Log
48:45 - Mullen It Over
51:45 - Final Thoughts on Grandia

This Week: WE FINISH GRANDIA!
Next Week: We beat the Queen Wasp in Lookout Point in Fable!

 Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 21, 2018

Grandia is almost over, and it may be breaking the Square Roots crew to their very cores. Except for Jim. Jim for some reason is finishing this game in record time. This week on Square Roots: Vanessa gets Royal Fever, Jim turns into a robot, Feena becomes a corporal, Justin won't solve the Trolley Problem, we debate the worst voice actor of the game, there's much plant carnage as Baal makes it go total Jenova, and so much more!

02:25 - Level Up
20:35 - The Quest Log
01:07:20 - Mullen It Over
01:08:40 - Squarely Against

This Week: We reach Zil Padon after the attack by Gaia!
Next Week: WE FINISH GRANDIA!

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 14, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

NEXT GAME ANNOUNCED!

This l'il chunker has all your favorite Grandia bits: rainbow roads! Falling out of a plane! Jenova-ing monsters! Plant arms! Convenient manta rays! Secret Icarians! There's a lot of plot and a lot of action, even if poor ol' Vanessa is sick.

Level Up: 04:00
Quest Log: 12:50
Squarely Against: (I think we forgot it this time)

This week: We play until we reach Alent.
Next Week: We return to Zil Padon after the Lyonlot and the Luzet Mountain Camp scene.

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

 Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

May 7, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast


Let's not forget that Grandia was made in the halcyon days of 1996 in Japan, so the name of the dog people did not carry the same kind of political weight as it does now. But that's just the start of the revelations we have today. For instance: the true nature of Darlin! Where Lainians keep their wisdom! How snowballs work! Ghosts! And so many more!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 30, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

We meet Rapp, and his parents who were both turned to stone and rubbed to death. He has one of the worst voice actors in gaming. It is legendary. This week we've got: Vanessa's Rapp Rap, Milda's labia, Leen's Secret, a whole Jenova scenario, God of War, Vanessa's Sims, edible housing, and SO MUCH MORE.

This week: We complete the Tower of Doom and find out Leen's secret!
Next week: We play until we talk to the Three Wise Men of Laine.

Level Up: 04:35
Quest Log: 15:20
Squarely Against: 01:04:25

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 23, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

We push forward with even more Grandia, finishing Disc One. But that means it's a jam packed episode full of tricky mermaids, confusing elevator puzzles, catapults, crying children, not knowing how to run, awkward dates, and villagers who lean on plausible deniability.

This week: We play until the end of Disc One.
Next week: We complete the Tower of Doom and find out Leen's secret!

Level Up: 05:10
Quest Log: 16:05
Squarely Against: 01:50

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.

Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 16, 2018

Square Roots really, officially has a Patreon now: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Sue falls to what appears to be her death, is nearly eaten, Justin gets vanquished by a way, way better swordsman, and Feena kind of stays out of trouble in this song-packed episode of Square Roots. From a very, very large wall to a fish-shaped house and one of the most tedious, longest, and annoying maps ever to a rain-soaked tower where Justin must choose between life and death, Grandia is nothing if not dramatic. But hey! We meet Gadwin, a big strong buddy, and Guido, who claims to be Mo'Gay than Johnny. Somehow. All this and much much more!

Level Up 14:00
Quest Log 22:15
Squarely Against 01:11:15

This week: We finish the Typhoon Tower!
Next week: We finish disc one!

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.


Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 
Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 9, 2018

Hey! We've got a Patreon now! Our full announcement will be in the next episode, but check it out: https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Okay. Things get a little off the rails this episode as we try to slam through an overlarge chunker. First of all, Vanessa's drunk. So there's that. Then there's The Crest Frog, heat rash, the Witches of Brigmore, Dom and sub Orcs, Canadian April Fool's rituals, locker peeping, REM singing for two whole different reasons, Matthew using the worst phrase of all time (it ends with "committee"), so much nut munching, wiping out a squadron of Sergeants, and rehashing the old "was Feena a tour guide?" argument. So. All in all? A great episode.

Level Up 06:30
Quest Log 22:55
Squarely Against 01:24:00

This week: We play until you hit the End of the World!
Next week: We play until you exit the Typhoon Tower.

Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 


Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Apr 2, 2018

Are you ready for Justin to not shut up about being an adventurer? That's right, we've got more Grandia! We board the Steamer off to New Parm and then get in all sorts of wedding-and-ghost-related adventures! This week we learn about so many new things including: Psyduck based body horror, a full explanation of Cleveland Steamers, deck swabbing, the Adventurer Society's toxic workplace culture, fan wikis as unpaid labour, boat piloting, underwear in JRPGs and so much more!

Level Up 03:30
Quest Log 18:45
Bullsh*t Minigame Corner: 01:34:50
Squarely Against 01:38:10

This week: We play until you reach the Dom Ruins!
Next week: We play until you hit the End of the World!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 26, 2018

We start Grandia! And it's pretty awesome! That doesn't mean we don't have questions and conundrums about Game Arts's classic PSOne JRPG. These children are in constant danger as we decry Justin's hat, get creeped out by Puff-Puff's nose, get skeeved out by old men hitting on an eight year old, watch children get hit in the face with a serving tray, destroy priceless statues, destabilize an Orc monarchy, iffy voice acting, judgmental makeup comments, debate the merits of Parmesan cheese and so much more!

Level Up 04:30

Quest Log 10:10

Squarely Against 01:28:45

 

This week: We play until you board the Steamer in Grandia!
Next week: We play until you reach the Dom Ruins!


Our opening theme is Charles Ritz’s awesome jazz cover of the Sandy Beach of Gambo featuring Alejandro Espinosa & Noah Benson. See the rest of Charles Ritz’s music on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/charlesritzmusic.
Our ending theme is that fantastic vocal cover by Cyril the Wolf - check out Cyril the Wolf on Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/user/CyrilRufus

 


Twitter: @squarerootspod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/

Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 19, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 5

Hail to the Chief! We finish Phantasy Star IV! And meet Seth, the sexiest PC ever to grace a JRPG party. We plot our ways to escape Planet X, debate whether or not the game gets Disc 3 crazy, give Ken Bone tips on having alternate accounts, we debate whether or not Le Roof is both on fire or an anthropomorphic galaxy, Jim gets obsessed over The Profound Darkness's boobs, talk about Dragonball for what seems to be an hour, and so much more!

Level Up 04:15
Quest Log 16:50
Squarely Against 01:15:50

This week: WE FINISH PHANTASY STAR IV!
Next week: We play until you board the Steamer in Grandia!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 12, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 4

NEXT GAME ANNOUNCED! We're not saying John slept through the recording of this episode, but he may have slept through the recording of this episode. Topics covered this week include: Le Freak, Laschiec; Laschiec playing a classic game of keep-away with the Eclipse Torch; rating Chaz versus previous terrible RPG protagonists; how Vanessa isn’t prepared for Garuberk Tower’s Flesh Cave; Matthew calls the Garuberk Tower “Gratuitous” Tower; Dark Farce; John’s Interrupted Wrestling Dreams and SO MUCH MORE. You won't even believe it.

Level Up 02:00
Quest Log 08:50
Squarely Against 56:34

This week: We meet the travelling archaeologist Seth. 
Next week: WE FINISH PHANTASY STAR IV!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Mar 5, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 3

Matthew connects to USB via a tin can and Jim is still mysteriously unavailable! But that won't stop us here at Square Roots. We discover Vanessa's robo-racism, we learn why you shouldn't use magic on a space ship as per the Liam Niesson movie Non-Stop, meet Raja and his weird dad jokes, have an old southern man diagose the issues with a space station, go on a rocket ride, get a second identical rocket, and SO MUCH MORE.

Level Up: 04:45
Quest Log: 20:15
Squarely Against: 01:28:20

This week: We meet Lutz and head to Jut!
Next week: We meet the travelling archaeologist Seth. 

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 26, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 2

Sega's manga-inspired sci-fi epic takes a few, uh, predictable twists and turns as we explore a downed Phantasy Star III colony ship, explore Zio's Fort, and head into a tourist trap town. Topics covered this week include: we lose our Edible Arrangements sponsorship; Matthew ear-shames Rika; Vanessa discovers the secret of instant teleportation; our protagonist dilemma is sorted out;  we balance out Labia’s Tower jokes with sandworm foreskin jokes; the RPG need for brothels; Chaz brainstorms badly; we question the medical skills of Hahn and Sara; Vanessa has outdoor cat adventures; AND SO MUCH MORE!

Level Up: 05:15
Quest Log: 17:15
Squarely Against: 01:18:14
Matthew's Political Theories: 01:25:53

This week: We secure the Psycho Wand and head to Nurvus.
Next week: We meet Lutz and head to the penguin-filled town of Jut!

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 19, 2018

Phantasy Star IV - Part 1

We begin the epic space journey with Alys and Chaz in the town of learning, but something doesn't seem right. Why is the headmaster so evasive? What's up with those monsters in the basement? Is Jim the Hahn of the podcast? Why did we start with Phantasy Star IV? Does the game explain anything about any of its systems? Why is Vanessa so interested in Zio? How many fake languages is Matt going to have to learn? Does John want to make kissing with Professor Bearsley?

We answer all these questions and more in this deep dive into one of Sega's finest RPGs.

Level Up: 02:45
John Explains Phantasys Star I Through III: 09:45
Quest Log: 13:55
Jim's Rate-A-Babe: 01:07:29
Squarely Against: 01:10:25

This week: We venture deep into Birth Valley, and Rika emerges from its depths.
Next week: We secure the Psycho Wand and head to Nurvus.

Our theme song for this series is by Sharp Rain Music, check out their Youtube for tons of awesome video game covers: https://www.youtube.com/user/rainheart666787

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 17, 2018

Julian Titus from Nerds Without Pants joins Jim and John as they decide if the Miracle of Sound Commander Shepherd song deserves a Renegade or Paragon interrupt! This episode contains a careful review of the imagery used by Miracle of Sound, as well as a mailbag full of questions about Krogan genitals, Crossing Jordan, Asari babies, and Normandy crew slash fiction. Plus basic misunderstandings of microfilm!

Level Up: 03:40

Commander Shepherd Review: 13:40

Mailbag: 38:10

Please find Miracle of Sound's Commander Shepherd song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiRDJLcYua0

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Feb 12, 2018

Mass Effect - Part 6 

Stay tuned through the end of the podcast for incredible dramatic readings of Matt’s notes! We finish off BioWare’s first venture into their epic science fantasy universe and decide whether or not we’re Squarely Against or Roundly For Shepherd and their adventures. Also? Vanessa and Matthew turn out to be twinsies; Matt is obsessed with a geth ship with a face; Vanessa’s Rate-A-Hunk goes macro; and SO MUCH MORE!

Level Up: 02:56

The Codex: 16:23

Vanessa’s Rate-A-Hunk: 57:10

Squarely Against: 01:03:03

Dramatic Readings of Matt’s Notes: 01:14:36

This Week:We finish Mass Effect 1!
Next Week: We start Phantasy Star IV and play through until leaving the BioPlant with Rika!

Our theme song for this series is by Sophie Marlon, check out her violin covers of tons of game themes on YouTube at Sophie Marlon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCET7Q5ZMfzqlgVf17AB-6DQ

BANDCAMP: https://sophiemarlon.bandcamp.com/

INSTAGRAM: @sophiemarlonansems

https://www.instagram.com/sophiemarlonansems/

TWITTER: @SophieMarlon https://twitter.com/SophieMarlon

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/sophiemarlonansems

Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

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