Square Roots - Episode 356
We did it! Since starting in 2017 we have now played through all of the original Mass Effect Trilogy, the only Mass Effect games that exist. No, there was no such thing as Galaxy or Andromeda or that one iPhone 3D one either. Nope.
Also:
- Normal People Watch the Food Network
- #JohnDunsWasRight
- Are You Ready For Sequel Slam 2023?
- Somehow The Reapers Have The Citadel
- Everyone's Favourite Character Major Coates
This Week: We finish Mass Effect 3!
Next Week: We clear out chapter 2 (Nashkel Mines) in Baldur's Gate!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 355
Johnny gets weird quasi-dates with straight guys flashbacks in this party filled, aquarium smashing, minigame loving chunker of BioWare's Mass Effect 3! Mass Effect lets its hair down and gets out of its ridiculous marching band outfit and finally lets you enjoy the world they've created, at least for this one DLC. There's evil betrayals! Clones! Gun toting Hanar! Grunt in the shower! And so much more!
Also:
- The Princess of Burnsville
- Vanessa's Milky White Obsession
- The Whore / Horror Switcheroo
- Shepherd Almost Died And It Was The Funniest Thing That Ever Happened
- The Asari Don't Make Sense
- The Normanddy of Thessius
- Definitely Not Gay James Vega
- Blasto: A Porn Parody
This Week: The Citadel DLC!
Next Week: We finish Mass Effect 3!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Square Roots - Episode 354
Sadly we don't get to dispatch Kai Leng in this episode, but we do get to meet some big ol' space bugs in this chunker of BioWare's Mass Effect 3! We get a lot of DLC lore about the origin of the Reapers, get to splish splash in some water, and Miranda gets to wrap up her Cerberus ties and crappy father issues in one biotic swoop. Also an exciting edition of Jim's Front Page Failure!
Also:
- Johnny Can't Tell if Jim Is Saying Horror Or Whore But Is Afraid To Ask
- A Very Real George Miller Game
- Jackson Cloink-Cloink
- That Was Some Good Breevin'
- Vectorman for the Sega Genesis
- Vanessa's Chef Wrestler Persona
This Week: Leviathan, Horizon: Zero Ashleys (because she's probably dead)
Next Week: The Citadel DLC!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 353
In this slicing and dicing episode of Square Roots Kai Leng may be back, but mysteriously Johnny has disappeared! Does this mean way more political rants? Of course! But Jim, Vanessa and Matthew will guide you through Rannoch and the end of the Geth wars and then discover a very important artifact on Thessia!
Also:
- Way Too Much Political Talk
- Full Page Failure: Death Match
- The Crooshable Returns
- The Illusive Man Has a Really Cool Idea
- Sealed Shucker
This Week: We finish the Quarians homeworld stuff, Priority: Thessia
Next Week: Leviathan, Horizon: Zero Ashleys (because she's probably dead)
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 352
This may be our raunchiest episode in a while, so hide it from sensitive ears! On this chunker of Square Roots we go through some fun classic DLC in BioWare's Mass Effect 3 and reunite with Tali, unless of course you're BimJanks and Tali is Super Dead.
Also:
- English Sexy Talk
- Aria Said F
- Would You Dance To This Song?
- Jim's Wild New Rules for Full Page Failure
- Ashley Fell Asleep on a Hotdog
- Downloadable Lesbian Content
This Week: We finish the Geth Ship and do the Omega DLC!
Next Week: We finish the Quarians homeworld stuff, Leviathan, Priority: Thessia
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 351
On this tragically romantic episode of Square Roots, Vanessa must choose - will she emotionally and physically bond with her snake boyfriend, or her himbo dummy human? PORQUE NO LOS DOS?! Also there's plenty of tough decisions on this Tchunker of BioWare's Mass Effect 3 like something about doing a genocide or not, or doing a different genocide or not, or watching fan favourites Dagg, Wreav and Padok Wiks sacrifice themselves.
Also:
- The Illusive Woman
- Jim Is Afraid of Improv
- Clean Your Grint
- 2023's Z-Snap
- And Lo, Noah Did Get a Rad T-Rex, and It Was Cool
- The Grim Darkness of the Far Future
This Week: We Save Tuchanka and Deal With A Citadel Coup!
Next Week: We finish the Geth Ship and do the Omega DLC!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 350
Shepherd takes some selfie hints from the 21st century in this action-packed chunker of Mass Effect 3! There's meeting a 50,000 year old Protheon, hot gossip with the lady Krogan, and seeing Jack's clothing journey.
Also:
- Your Favourite Mary Kate & Ashley Songs
- The Pegger
- New Game Plus Elementary School
- Her Two Big Front Mounted Processors
- Ensign Pringles Saves The Day
- Bring Your Bits! Whatever!
This Week: Extract Lady Krogan, Javik, Biotic School, and explore some planets!
Next Week: Reach the end of Rannoch, the Turian homeworld!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 347
Finally, on the second to last day of BioJanuWarey, we start Mass Effect 3! That's right. Shepherd, Wrex, Kaiden (or Ashley if you're a monster) and Doctor Chocolates are back in this action packed chunker.
Also:
- Mister BAMF Himself
- I Thought We Were Doing ME Tonight!
- Just A Regular Butt
- The Pros and Cons of Chocolate Fountains
- Future Teen Slang
- I... Want... Clean... Faces
This Week: It's BioJanuWarey and we play until The end of the Primarch Mission (Turian moon) in Mass Effect 3!
Next Week: Extract Lady Krogan, Javik, Biotic School, and explore some planets!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 347
IT'S A LONGO!
This week on Square Roots we get a little mixed up and forget about Gadolt for the first chunk of the quest log, but then remember that his plotline totally ended. We also remind you why Santa Claus turned into a Frost Gigas, remember how to pronounce Melia, and, oh yeah, totally finish Xenoblade Chronicles!
Also:
- How Do You Not Have The Song?
- Outfits With Wings On Them That Don't Make Any Sense
- You Can't Spoil Real Life
- Escalator Horror
- Perhaps I Have Misinterpreted This Relationship
- We Misidentify a Mother
- What Is A Hoo Ha?
This Week: We finally, finally finish Xenoblade Chronicles!
Next Week: It's BioJanuWarey and we play until in Mass Effect 3!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 347
Everything you want in a Square Roots episode happens today! It's more Xenoblade Chronicles and we're almost finished! There's really long dungeons! Someone not understanding where the chunker ends! Jim's Full Page Failure! Caution: staying past the end credits as the bonus clips get a little... blue.
Also:
- SCREE! Eyes emoji! Skeet skeet!
- Does Comix Zone lick himself?
- A Mechon Out of Water
- The Return of Robo-Vanessa
This Week: Explore the Mechonis Capital!
Next Week: We finally, finally finish Xenoblade Chronicles!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 346
This week we start off with Jim's brand new trivia game: FULL PAGE FAILURE! After we get into this week's Quest Log where we get to finally, finally, walk on the blade of a giant sword! We also find a rare unfridging, find out more mysteries about Crosby Stills and Sass, and learn how to flirt by comparing a man to your missing boyfriend.
Also:
- Except for the Robot Dinosaurs
- A Movie About Cannibalism
- You Have To Watch This Gritty Murder
- Jim's New Game
- There's No Aliens in Time Cop!
- The Age of Holt
- His Wet Little Throat
- Egil the Living Robot
This Week: Grab the Peizoelectric unit!
Next Week: Explore the Mechonis Capital!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Happy New Year! The Squootses took this week off, so enjoy our resolutions for the year! Back to normal next week.
Next Week: Defeat Sureny Telethia!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 345
So many revelations this episode! A big beefy boi! Questionable allegiences! A mech made out of SOLID GOLD! This week on Square Roots we make our way out on the sword and possibly... to the other giant continental mech?!
Also:
- Carols for a Sick Friend
- Vanessa the Boxing Day Gerenuk
- Matt is a Dog Name
- A Lady Mechon
- Teeny Tiny Wings
- A Real Kiera Knightley!
This Week: Finish Up Valak Mountain after defeating Mumkhar!
Next Week: Defeat Sureny Telethia!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 344
Everyone is preparing to go up hard against their daddy versions in this exciting, explosive, full of wild mass guessing episode of Square Roots! In this chunker of Xenoblade Chronicles, we kill a blobby dinosaur dragon, meet all of Riki's family, and go up to the fanciest castle in the land.
Also:
- Yeah, Klonoa!
- All Himbos and Bimbos
- Gooching
- Scared of Tim Robbins
- Physics? I'm a Princess!
- Don't Worry About It
- Riki Loves Love
This Week: We clear out the High Entia Tomb and finish Chapter 8!
Next Week: Finish Up Valak Mountain after defeating Mumkhar!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 343
Not only can you rescue a poofy in this week's chunker of Square Roots, but there's even a princess in peril AND a brand new Riku who is SO COOL.
Also:
- Vanessa Doubles Down on Making Babies Cry
- That's How This One Came About, a new podcast!
- Is Bishonen a Word?
- Is the Elevator the Abs?
- Clearly a Pube Swamp
- Shulk and the Quest for the Four Glowies
- Matthew's Wild Pronounciation of Anachronox
- Alvis and the Chipmunks and Other Lazy Jokes
- The Story of Riki
This Week: We reach the Nopon Village!
Next Week: We clear out the High Entia Tomb and finish Chapter 8!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 342
Now we're really getting into the thick of this exciting trek through the Bionis in Square Roots's second episode of Xenoblade Chronicles. There's so much to cover, from hungry robots to the annoying plot device of a child constantly getting in trouble. But maybe we'll love it!
Also:
- Vanessa chooses a fursona
- Pickle fights
- At Christmas We Tell the Truth
- A WAP Dumper
- Too Many Gigs
- I Love Dune!
- Breadcummies
- Crosby Stills and Sass
- It's Fun to Go Perpendicular!
This Week: We defeat the big bad boss of the Ether Mines!
Next Week: We reach the Nopon Village!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
It's that time of the year! We took the week off from Xenoblabies but not from you, dear listeners! This week we rank all 51 games that we have played on the show! Who will be number 1? Who will be number 51? Listen to find out!
Square Roots - Episode 341
Are you ready for a big, new Xeno adventure? I hope so. Welcome to a world of twinks and himbos, and midriffs exposed on EVERYONE. In this episode of Square Roots the gang is introduced to Shulk (short for She-Hulk), Reyn, and of course everyone's favourite character, Fiora! What's your levelling and equipment strategy for Fiora? What arts will she use?
Also:
- Land Man
- The Toys to Life Pit
- Not Smart Enough or French Enough
- MetalStorm
- Nip Flop!
- Shulk's Spacious New Fridge
This Week: We finish Chapter 2 and fight Metal Face in Xenoblade Chronicles 1!
Next Week: We defeat the big bad boss of the Ether Mines!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 340
Oh wow! It feels like we just started Live a Live, but now Live a Live is very finished. Did we all finish? Did anyone get the Armageddon ending? Did Johnny save his beefy boi? We deconstruct the very nature of JRPGs in this season of Square Roots's exciting conclusion!
Also:
- There's No Good Use for a Death Helmet
- He's A Good Dad Now
- Advanced Spacey
- 2 Salty
- Fisherman's Friend Is Not Code
- Prithee Thou Art Mine Husbandth
- Our Friend the Orange Dot
- A Fun Prank
- The Virgin Streibough Versus Chad Oersted
This Week: We finish Live a Live!
Next Week: We finish Chapter 2 and fight Metal Face in Xenoblade Chronicles 1!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 339
Is it an Akira? No, it's an Ultraman! Is it an Alien? Sort of, but it's also a 2001! On this futuristic episode of Square Roots we dive into the murky future awaiting all of us in Live a Live. Will it have Final Fantasy Behemoths and Akira Bike Gangs? Probably.
Also:
- Ferrero Rochers All The Way Through
- If Riker Doesn't Have a Beard, This Episode Is Gonna Be Weird
- I'M A LOCAL BUSINESSMAN
- The Loincloth / Balls Debate
- A Stupid Dirty Slank
- A TURTLE IS SICK?!
- The Only Solution is Liquifaction
- A disasterous Bring Your Kid To Work Day
- The Colonel's Bee Quest
This Week: We play the Near and Distant Future!
Next Week: We finish the Middle Ages and... maybe the rest of the game? We'll see!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 338
Greetings, humans! Welcome to a spookity, horrorish episode of Square Roots! In this dark chunker of Unalive Alive we play through the blood soaked hallways of Edo Japan, the bullet ridden sand of The Wild West, and punch and kick through the death sports of Present Day!
Also:
- Gotham Knight Cake Boycott
- Bee Movie Horror
- Johnny Definitely Follows Vanessa's Instructions
- They Don't Count as People
- Vanessa Invented Skateboard
- Xemobab Chromicols and Soccer Frontier
- Tits Versus Titties
- A Three Amigos Situation
- Teens Don't Know Who Hulk Hogan Is
This Week: We play Edo Japan, the Wild West, and Present Day in Live a Live!
Next Week: We finish the Near Future and Distant Future!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 337
This week on Square Roots we do, we promise, eventually talk about Live a Live's first two (chronological) chapters: Pre-History and Imperial China. And there's a lot to talk about! Recruiting beefy bois! Lady Gorillas! Even more fart humour!
Also:
- Liver Live
- Matt Damon with a curtains haircut
- What's Your Burger Style?
- Loading Goes Boop!
- Sassy Caveman Hair Flip
- Vanessa's Ettiquette Corner
- Sweet Sweet Gorilla Beef
- But He Was Only Just Alive!
This Week: We play Pre-History and Imperial China in Live a Live!
Next Week: We play Edo Japan, the Wild West, and Present Day in Live a Live!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 336
There's a whole lot of arguing about what time rules Okami uses - is it Looper rules? Back to the Future rules? Lost rules? That aside, we finally finish the ice palace, the boss rush, the clockwork owls - and complete another game!
Also:
- Perfectly framed webcam
- Metaverse finally shows feet
- We're just not that into vampires
- Folding at home
- Vanessa's Out Back
- What if Jeff Bezos Takes Away My Ghost Ship
- Bon Janus
- Moo-my Milkers
This Week: We finish Okami!
Next Week: We finish the Pre-history and Imperial China chapters of Live a Live!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 335
Okay, okay - we said we were going to finish the game this week but Johnny got sick so he couldn't play that much, but we promise that we'll finish next week. For realsies! Okay, so this chunker we mostly concentrate on solving some mysteries and finally reaching the elusive Oni Island!
Also:
- Suck it, Troy Baker!
- Deborah Space
- Vanessa's Head Canon Corner
- Square Roots: After Dark after the credits
- Big League Chew Revelations
- The Unearned Pathos of Tobi
- A Creeping Cathy, A Slow Susan, A Shuffling Sharon
This Week: We reach the frozen north!
Next Week: We finish Okami!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com
Square Roots - Episode 334
It's the story of a podcast named Square Roots! Which was bringing up four twenty somethings of its own! Some of them have hair of none, just like their fathers, and they were all alone!
Also we're playing more of Okami in this penultimate episode, fight some bosses, uncover some crimes, meet some fish, do some sidequests, and play far too much of a terrible bullshuit minigame.
Also:
- That Stupid Fish Orca!
- Johnny In A Garbage Can!
- The Voyager Theme Dirge!
- Finally, A Ghost Ship!
- More Vore!
- The Space Helmet Argument!
- Warner Herzog Impressions Are Hard!
- Issun Needs To Stop Ruining The Game!
- Big Long Glass!
This Week: We clear out the Dragon Palace!
Next Week: We finish Okami!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com